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Fraternities and Sororities on campus promote materialism and self-absorption

There seems to be a popular myth at Villanova that slapping a set of
Greek letters across any part of your body–your chest, your bag, your
cap–will instantly escalate your level of personal appeal, if not
directly correlate to a marginal increase in your hotness level.
While many seem to have internalized this myth, I myself remain
skeptical, having tried this in middle school with Abercrombie and
Fitch to no avail.
If there’s one guaranteed thing fraternities and sororities will
raise, however, it’s the dollar amount in your philanthropy fund.
Without Greek Life, the charity effort would be in serious trouble.
Within the year of 2012 alone, Greek life raised over $175,000
dollars.  And while the amount of executive members needed to produce
this number might seem ridiculous–in one sorority alone, I counted
over a dozen different chairmanships.  I was hoping that they might
have something like a Personal Makeup Chairman, one that might become
my able assistant, but unfortunately it wasn’t listed–they must be
doing something right, because that’s an awful lot of moolah.
The other thing about Greek Life is that they know how to get people
to socialize.  The truth is, some people are awkward.  Really awkward.
Fortunately for myself, I inherited my mother’s gift of gab, but not
all people were born with a parent skilled in small-talk.  Everyone
needs friends, and if you’re a shy freshman with lecture-style only
classes, this can be an excruciating task.  So how do you make
friends?  Corral forty girls into one pledge class and force them to
go to lots of events together.  Trust me, it works.  There’s nothing
like the comfort of 39 other girls, probably even more uncomfortable
than yourself, to get the chatter-boxes going.
Finally, Greek Life gives people something to do on a campus where
it’s tough getting to places without a car.  As a lowly car-less
individual for the past three years, I shudder to think what my
weekends would have looked like had it not been for Greek Life.  I
imagine they might have resembled an endless reel of watching rom-coms
in Connelly before going to bed by 10:30, or if I was feeling really
wild, 11. Luckily, Greek Life offers everyone–even non-members, such
as myself–something relatively fun to do. They’ll sometimes even throw
in a complimentary beverage or two.
Yet with those benefits of Greek Life acknowledged, there is a
disturbing amount of exclusionary behaviors that accompany certain
members of Greek Life.
For some fraternity members, this behavior manifests itself as the
identical twin of the Napoleonic Complex.  Please, tell me more about
how your fraternity is the best.  Please, tell me more about how all
those other guys who joined fraternities are horrible people because
they aren’t in yours.  Please, tell me more about how your fraternity
produces only the finest of male specimens. It’s riveting.  A word of
advice, gentlemen:–arrogance is not a sexual stimulant.  There is a
fine line between charm and arrogance, one that many of you serially
breach.  Whatever script you’re sharing, it’s time to hire a new
writer.  Maybe one who isn’t obsessed with the theme that you are
God’s greatest gift to women.
An unfortunate habit of certain sorority members, which occurs with
alarming frequency, is the relentless compulsion to advertise sorority
brands.  Wait, are you in a sorority?  I really couldn’t tell.  I had
no idea from that bag you carry everyday or the dozens of shirts you
parade around in or the endless profile pictures that scream “I’m in a
sorority!” You’ll be pleased to hear that I’m launching a bold new
startup business, one that provides the public with an indispensable
service–your very own signature thong collection, monogrammed with the
sorority symbol of your choice.  With the demand these days, I think
it’ll really sell.
But the advertising doesn’t disturb me as much as the comparisons.  So
there’s this girl.  She’s in a sorority.  But which one?  Categories
aren’t enough, I mean, where’s the fun in that?  We have to rank them
too.  Wait, so you’re not in a top sorority?  Listen, earlier I
thought you were a ten, but now, it’s looking like an eight.  Wait,
you’re in a top sorority?  Oh hello, sexy.  I was feeling a four
before, but now, a definite seven!  Can we take a picture together and
put it on Facebook? Oh, but only if your letters are in it.  In fact,
let’s angle it down a little.  The letters, not the face, the letters!
We need to stop encouraging the harmful, comparative behaviors that
accompany the Greek presence on campus.  Greek Life has many things to
offer, but also many things to take–self-esteem being a primary
target.
So what does this friendlier form of Greek Life look like?  Guys, the
next time you meet a girl, don’t immediately ask her what sorority she
is in.  It really doesn’t matter.  If you like her, you like her.  The
next time you choose a date, take her because she’s a great girl, not
because she’s wearing your favorite sorority’s letters.  Ten years
from now, all that memorabilia will be in the Goodwill anyways, trust
me, I’ve seen it there.  Oh, and gentlemen, you might also try talking
to guys from other fraternities.  You should be friends. There’s a lot
of common ground to build off of.
Ladies, the advertising level has reached the height of Mount Everest.
It’s time to take it down about 30,000 feet.  Oh, and maybe you could
also stop comparing your sorority to others.  I know you want that
little extra boost, but you can find it in other ways, trust me.  I’m
not one for calendars, but I’m pretty sure it’s not Judgment Day.
Check your calendars, people.  It could help things.

There seems to be a popular myth at Villanova that slapping a set of
Greek letters across any part of your body–your chest, your bag, your
cap–will instantly escalate your level of personal appeal, if not
directly correlate to a marginal increase in your hotness level.
While many seem to have internalized this myth, I myself remain
skeptical, having tried this in middle school with Abercrombie and
Fitch to no avail.
If there’s one guaranteed thing fraternities and sororities will
raise, however, it’s the dollar amount in your philanthropy fund.
Without Greek Life, the charity effort would be in serious trouble.
Within the year of 2012 alone, Greek life raised over $175,000
dollars.  And while the amount of executive members needed to produce
this number might seem ridiculous–in one sorority alone, I counted
over a dozen different chairmanships.  I was hoping that they might
have something like a Personal Makeup Chairman, one that might become
my able assistant, but unfortunately it wasn’t listed–they must be
doing something right, because that’s an awful lot of moolah.
The other thing about Greek Life is that they know how to get people
to socialize.  The truth is, some people are awkward.  Really awkward.
Fortunately for myself, I inherited my mother’s gift of gab, but not
all people were born with a parent skilled in small-talk.  Everyone
needs friends, and if you’re a shy freshman with lecture-style only
classes, this can be an excruciating task.  So how do you make
friends?  Corral forty girls into one pledge class and force them to
go to lots of events together.  Trust me, it works.  There’s nothing
like the comfort of 39 other girls, probably even more uncomfortable
than yourself, to get the chatter-boxes going.
Finally, Greek Life gives people something to do on a campus where
it’s tough getting to places without a car.  As a lowly car-less
individual for the past three years, I shudder to think what my
weekends would have looked like had it not been for Greek Life.  I
imagine they might have resembled an endless reel of watching rom-coms
in Connelly before going to bed by 10:30, or if I was feeling really
wild, 11. Luckily, Greek Life offers everyone–even non-members, such
as myself–something relatively fun to do. They’ll sometimes even throw
in a complimentary beverage or two.
Yet with those benefits of Greek Life acknowledged, there is a
disturbing amount of exclusionary behaviors that accompany certain
members of Greek Life.
For some fraternity members, this behavior manifests itself as the
identical twin of the Napoleonic Complex.  Please, tell me more about
how your fraternity is the best.  Please, tell me more about how all
those other guys who joined fraternities are horrible people because
they aren’t in yours.  Please, tell me more about how your fraternity
produces only the finest of male specimens. It’s riveting.  A word of
advice, gentlemen:–arrogance is not a sexual stimulant.  There is a
fine line between charm and arrogance, one that many of you serially
breach.  Whatever script you’re sharing, it’s time to hire a new
writer.  Maybe one who isn’t obsessed with the theme that you are
God’s greatest gift to women.
An unfortunate habit of certain sorority members, which occurs with
alarming frequency, is the relentless compulsion to advertise sorority
brands.  Wait, are you in a sorority?  I really couldn’t tell.  I had
no idea from that bag you carry everyday or the dozens of shirts you
parade around in or the endless profile pictures that scream “I’m in a
sorority!” You’ll be pleased to hear that I’m launching a bold new
startup business, one that provides the public with an indispensable
service–your very own signature thong collection, monogrammed with the
sorority symbol of your choice.  With the demand these days, I think
it’ll really sell.
But the advertising doesn’t disturb me as much as the comparisons.  So
there’s this girl.  She’s in a sorority.  But which one?  Categories
aren’t enough, I mean, where’s the fun in that?  We have to rank them
too.  Wait, so you’re not in a top sorority?  Listen, earlier I
thought you were a ten, but now, it’s looking like an eight.  Wait,
you’re in a top sorority?  Oh hello, sexy.  I was feeling a four
before, but now, a definite seven!  Can we take a picture together and
put it on Facebook? Oh, but only if your letters are in it.  In fact,
let’s angle it down a little.  The letters, not the face, the letters!
We need to stop encouraging the harmful, comparative behaviors that
accompany the Greek presence on campus.  Greek Life has many things to
offer, but also many things to take–self-esteem being a primary
target.
So what does this friendlier form of Greek Life look like?  Guys, the
next time you meet a girl, don’t immediately ask her what sorority she
is in.  It really doesn’t matter.  If you like her, you like her.  The
next time you choose a date, take her because she’s a great girl, not
because she’s wearing your favorite sorority’s letters.  Ten years
from now, all that memorabilia will be in the Goodwill anyways, trust
me, I’ve seen it there.  Oh, and gentlemen, you might also try talking
to guys from other fraternities.  You should be friends. There’s a lot
of common ground to build off of.
Ladies, the advertising level has reached the height of Mount Everest.
It’s time to take it down about 30,000 feet.  Oh, and maybe you could
also stop comparing your sorority to others.  I know you want that
little extra boost, but you can find it in other ways, trust me.  I’m
not one for calendars, but I’m pretty sure it’s not Judgment Day.
Check your calendars, people.  It could help things.

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