♒ Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)
All of the PDA you have seen on campus this week has been making you think about the one that got away. Don’t listen to your friends who tell you it would be creepy to text that person. Do it anyway. Yolo.
♓ Pisces (Feb. 20 – March 20)
Your intro to communication research class has been a struggle lately, and despite your best efforts to hold back the tears, they came flowing down in front of everyone in the library this morning. That boy that gave you a tissue? He may or may not be your future husband. Hopefully you were nice to him.
♈ Aries (March 21 – April 20)
Don’t be deterred by the horrible first date you had last week. If you say yes to the second date this person has planned for you tomorrow, you will be showered with chocolates and stuffed animals, which may be creepy but just go with it.
♉ Taurus (April 21 – May 21)
You wouldn’t consider yourself an anti-Valentine’s Day person, but you don’t exactly love it either. Instead of torturing yourself with rom-coms and parties, download the most recent Final Destination and get together with your single friends and act like it’s any other boring Friday night on campus.
♊ Gemini (May 22 – June 22)
You keep seeing your crush with this one girl. No one knows if she’s his girlfriend or if they are just really close friends. Don’t let that stop you from taking the plunge and seeing if he’s free Friday night. The worst thing he can say is no.
♋ Cancer (June 23 – July 23)
It’s Thursday night, and we all know what that means. You’ll be up super late studying for that FMR quiz…or not. Keep the tradition of celebrating Valentine’s Day all weekend long alive, even if it means sitting on the floor in your room and playing Kings.
♌ Leo (July 24 – Aug. 23)
Remember it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Though you’re flattered by the requests of that one person to go out together on Valentine’s Day, be honest with him and say you’re saving yourself for Ryan Gosling.
♍ Virgo (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23)
You will receive a drunk text from an ex tonight. You will not answer it because it will ruin your night and keep you up with thoughts of the past. If you do answer it…just remember I told you not to.
♎ Libra (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)
You are about to find love in the most unlikely of places. That’s right, the laundry room. Nothing’s more romantic than a Friday night full of folding laundry, except for when you’re folding it in the nine hundred degree laundry room. It’s okay to move to one of your rooms, but keep it PG since your roommate is asleep.
♏ Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)
Your significant other loves surprises, and you’ve been trying to think of ways to incorporate this into your Valentine’s Day date. Take her to karaoke and serenade her with the Titanic theme song, “My Heart Will Go On.” Even if she’s confused because it’s a depressing song, she’s sure to never forget this date.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)
The way to your boyfriend’s heart is definitely through his stomach. Make sure to buy one of those jumbo hearts of chocolates, and leave him a cheesy note about how there’s not enough chocolate in the world to show how much you love him.
♑ Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)
That poetry class you took last semester is about to come in handy. Write your crush a poem and recite it to her while waiting for your main course to be ready. If she thinks you’re a freak now, she can’t leave because you haven’t eaten yet.