Pisces (Feb. 20 – March 20) 

You and your roommate had a bonding night of Netflix, microwave popcorn and Insomnia. You are beyond thrilled that the fight you had earlier this month seems to be water under the bridge. Be careful though—while sugary snacks may be a temporary fix,  you will have to talk about the disagreement at some point.


Aries (March 21 – April 20)


You’ve surprised yourself so far this semester. All of your homework has been turned in on time, you’re caught up on all the readings, you’ve aced your first few tests and papers. Sure, you haven’t had the TV on in ages, but don’t you feel accomplished? Maybe deprived is the better word. Go ahead and take the night off. You deserve it.


Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

You are so ready for warm weather it’s insane. The snow days have been fun, but if this white stuff doesn’t go away soon you are going to scream. For now, all you can do is wear an extra pair of socks and dream of Spring Break. It’s on its way, I promise.


Gemini (May 22 – June 22) 

Midterms are coming up and you are so far behind. Have you even touched a book yet this semester? It’s going to be rough, but if you start now, you’ll catch up in time. You’ll hate every minute, but it’ll be beyond satisfying when your hard work finally pays off.

Cancer (June 23 – July 23)


Your RA told the neighbors that it was you who complained about the noise. Currently, you are appalled, embarrassed and defensive. Don’t worry too much. Sure, you’ve been thrown under the bus but it turns out that they didn’t know how loud they were being. It will be quieter in the future.


Leo (July 24 – Aug. 23) 

You’ve been playing matchmaker for two of your closest friends and recently there have been some complications. Sure, you think they would be perfect for each other, but you can’t force them together. It’s time to recognize that they are adults and will figure this out on their own. It will be hard, but you’ll have to resign, Cupid.

Virgo (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23)


It’s hard to see your friends a mess after that party they’ve been talking about for days. Put aside your judgments and take care of your friend. They’ll be back to themselves soon enough and they’ll be grateful someone was there to make sure they got into the right bed.


Libra (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)

Stop wearing dirty clothes. Picking pants out of the hamper and giving them a quick smell test is no way to live. Your roommates are starting to notice that overwhelming pile of laundry. Do a little every day. You’ll feel better with clean clothes.


Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22) 

You spent the last few weekend writing papers and it has taken a hit on your social life. Finally, the writing is finished, you’ve gotten essays back with good comments and you owe yourself a reward. Want to splurge on Chipotle? Go for it. You’ve been working hard.


Sagittarius (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)

You’re sick, again. Your friends treat you like you’re the plague and your roommate has stopped coming back to the room unless absolutely necessary. Get yourself to the health center and quickly. Ever heard of vitamins? They’d do you some good.


Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)

You’re missing your family. They just celebrated your little brother’s birthday and you know that birthday parties with your fam are the greatest. It’s hard to think of the little siblings growing up without you. Keep calling home and stay strong. You’ll see them soon enough!


Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)


Valentine’s Day did not go exactly as planned. The shuttles and trains were all running late, you called a taxi and waited half an hour for it to show up and crash into a snow bank on the way to dinner. And yes, you helped push and still had to pay. Better luck next year. Maybe you could try for an evening in instead.


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